The Ranch
by VirginiaLover
Summary: Bella's life was perfect, she has a loving husband and she owns her own ranch. But, when Bella's husband hires someone to help out, Bella learns that your past really does follow you. Rated M for language and adultery.
1. I Am Just A Country Girl

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything.**

**I know that I haven't updated Married Life in a long time, I am at a loss of what to do with the story right now and it doesn't help that everything on my laptop has been whipped. I took down Becoming Awake for personal reasons that I don't want to talk about. This story has been sitting in my computer for a long time and I decided that I wanted to finish it. I am not going to take down Married Life, I plan on finishing it in the future. I hope you like this one and I will be putting Becoming Awake back up eventually.**

1. I'm Just a Country Girl

I groaned as my alarm went off signaling that I was going to have to get out of my nice, warm, comfortable bed. I loved that I owned a farm, most of the time, the mornings when my alarm woke me at six in the morning I didn't like it very much. I looked over and saw that Jake was already out of bed.

I sighed and slipped out from under the covers and made my way to the bathroom and took a shower, before heading down stairs and getting coffee.

Jake and I had been married for three years now. We were happy and I had nothing to complain about. We were doing well. I spent most of my time at home taking care of everything while Jake spent most of his time at the store in town. My life was exactly how I wanted to be and exactly how I had imagined it as a little girl, although that image usually involved Prince Charming, but other than that it had turned out, almost, absolutely perfect.

After I fixed myself a cup of coffee I made my way out to the barn that one place that I was sure to find my husband.

"Howdy," I said when I found feeding Misty, our appaloosa.

"Good morning." he gave me a small as he put down the bucket that was in his hand. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me to him.

"Someones in a good mood."

"Well, what can I say? I got to see my beautiful wife first thing in the morning." he kissed. "I need to get going."

"What time should you be home?" I asked rubbing my hands up and down his arms.

"Around seven."

"Have you given anymore thought to hiring some help? I know you don't want to but if you don't you're going run yourself into the ground. And I kind of like you how you are now without the dirt. Can you imagine how hard cleaning up after you would be then?" I had suggested weeks ago that we get a stable boy, but Jake was adamant that he wanted to do everything himself.

"Bella."

"I know, I know. But, look at it this way. If we get someone to help us you will have enough energy for other things." I said suggestively.

"Such as?" he raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, I think you know." I smiled into his lips giving him a kiss before releasing him. "Just think about it?"

"Fine." he huffed.

"You know I'm right that's why you don't want to do it."

"You have me there." he kissed me one more time. "I'll see you tonight."

"Love you!" I called as he ran to his truck.

"Love you." he called back with a wave.

I went back inside and finished my coffee and got breakfast before going and taking Misty out to the field. The day was warm, the April sun was boring down, it was going to be a gorgeous day. This was one of those days that made me happy that I lived in Indiana.

A horn honking startled me and made fall from my perch on the fence. I grumbled getting off the ground and saw my best friend get out of her SUV.

"Hey!" I called making my way out of the field and running toward her.

"Hey." she said hugging me when I was close enough.

"How have you been?" I asked looking slightly down at Alice. "I haven't seen you in forever."

"I've been good." she wrapped an arm around my shoulders as we walked to the house.

"How's Jasper?"

"Good. Working a lot, but good."

"That's good."

"Do you want some coffee?" I asked when we made it into the house."

"Do you even have to ask?" she laughed as she sat down at my kitchen table.

I poured us some cups and sat down beside her.

"What have you been up?" I asked after a minute of silence.

"Work, work, and did I mention work?"

"That bad?" I asked.

"The traffic in New York is the worst. That is the last time I volunteer to help train at headquarters. Now I know why we don't live there. But, enough about me." she put her cup down. "What about you? How's Jacob?"

"He's good. He's finally thinking about hiring some help." I took a sip of my coffee.

"'Bout time." she laughed.

"I know. He told him if he didn't get some help soon he was going to run himself into the ground."

"That man loves you."

I smiled. "I love him, too." I smiled.

&7&

I looked at the clock and saw that it was almost eight. Jake had said that he going to be home an hour ago. I was starting to get worried. Irritated I turned off the stove and walked into the living room and plopped myself down on the sofa. I turned on the TV, but I wasn't really paying attention to it. I was considering calling him again when I saw headlights flash across the wall. I got up from my seat on the couch and went to meet him at the door.

"What took you so long? I thought you said that you would be home at seven?" I asked when he walked through the door.

"I'm sorry, babe. I was caught up." he looked at me sheepishly.

"Caught up with what?" I asked curiously.

"I kind of hired someone." he said this so softly that I thought that I hadn't heard him correctly.

"Did you just say what I think you said?" I asked awestruck.

"Yes." he mumbled.

"Be still my heart." I grabbed my chest for dramatic effect.

"Ha ha. You are so funny." he grabbed me and started to tickle my sides.

"Tell me about this guy that you hired." I said when he released me.

"A guy came into the store today and we started talking. He was talking about how he needed a place to stay and hired and said that he could have the loft over the barn."

"When he is going to get here?"

"Tomorrow. I thought that I would leave the store closed and be here when he gets and help him get settled."

"What's his name?" I asked.

"Edward Cullen."

"What?" I asked, thinking that I hadn't heard him right.

"Edward Cullen."

I gulped.

"Are you alright?" Jake asked coming over to me.

"I'm fine."

He raised his eyebrows.

"Really, I'm fine. Let's get you fed." I took his hand and led him into the kitchen.

&7&

That night I lie in bed unable to sleep. There were somethings that I hadn't told Jake. And the new helping hand was one of those things. Sure, Jake knew that I had relationships with other guys. He just didn't know that I had been engaged before him.

My relationship with Edward had been intense. I was convinced that he was the one that I was going to marry, hell, I even had the ring on my finger. But, we wanted different things and we broke it off. I had been heartbroken. He had been my first everything and it was hard... had been hard to think about life without him. I had a few relationships afterward and then I met Jake. He had been my beacon of light that got me out of my funk... I had just left out about Edward. Now my past was literally coming back to haunt me.

As I dozed my conscience went back to what I thought was the happiest day of my life...

_"Will you please tell me where we are going?" I asked, gripping Edward's jacket._

_"Its a surprise."_

_"We're in the woods. What could possibly be out here."_

_"Just trust me." he used the power of his green eyes on me._

_"I trust you." he kissed my forehead before leading me deeper into the woods._

_"We're almost there." he squeezed my hand._

_There was a break in the trees that led into the most beautiful meadow that I had ever __seen. Wildflowers littered the grow. It took my breath away. I turned back to Edward to see him still standing in the shadows, watching me._

_"What?" I asked, looking myself over. "Do I have something on me?"_

_"You're perfect." he seemed nervous._

_"I can't believe it. The guy that streaked across the football field during a game is nervous." I went over to him and took his hands. "What's on your mind? You're not thinking about getting another tattoo are you?"_

_He looked at me perplexed. "Why do you say that?"_

_"This the same way you get when your thinking about getting inked, again."_

_"No, not that." he threaded his fingers through mine._

_"Then what is it? You're not acting like yourself."_

_"I have something that I want to ask you." he bit his lip._

_"You can ask me anything. You should know that by now." I smiled up at him._

_Taking a deep breath he walked a few steps away from me. His back was turned to me, but I could see how tense that he had become.  
>Turning back to me he started, "We've known each other for a long time. I will never forget the look on your face when I sat next to you in English class freshmen year," he laughed. "I don't know what I did to get you, but I know that I never want to let you go." he came closer to me. "I love you, Bella. I can't imagine my life without you." he got down on one knee and breathing stopped. "Will you marry me?" he pulled out a small black box. He opened it to reveal a simple platinum band with a small diamond. "I know its not much, but it was all that I could afford."<em>

_I stood there speechless. Tears were welling up in my eyes as the world's biggest smile __spread across my face. "Yes," I breathed._

_"Yes?" he looked releaved._

_"Did you really think that I would say no?"_

_He slipped the ring on my finger and stood and brought me into an earth shattering._

_"The leather jacket." I said when we pulled apart._

_"What?" he looked at me confused._

_"That was what first attracted me to you. I've always had a thing for bad boys."_

_"I love you."_

_"I love you, too." I brought him into another kiss._

A car door closing woke me in the morning. I looked over to Jake's side of the bed to see that he was gone. I glanced at the clock to see that it was past ten, Jake must have turned off my alarm.

I swung my legs over the side of the bed; my feet coming in contact with the cool hardwood floor. I walked over to the window to see an unfamiliar car in the driveway. He was here, less than a hundred feet from me. I could make out the silhouette of him taking to Jake in front of the barn. I turned away from the window and went to get dressed. I couldn't delay the inevitable; I was going to have to face him at some point.

I threw on jeans, t-shirt, and my sunglasses before heading downstairs. As soon as I walked out the door the heat of the day hit me, it was unseasonably warm for April and I could already tell that by afternoon it was going to be a hot day.

I walked slowly toward the barn, they weren't in sight which meant that they were probably upstairs in the loft. I made my way into the barn and making my way to see Misty in her stall.

"Bella!" I heard Jake yell coming back downstairs.

"Hey." I forced a smile as he leaned down to kiss me softly.

"Someone slept in this morning."

"Because someone turned off my alarm." I poked him in the side.

"Hey, Jake where can I.." I heard his voice and his feet on the stairs.

I looked over at him and saw that he had stopped short and was staring right at me. He had a five o'clock shadow and his hair was shorter than it had been, but his eyes were still had the same deep look to them.

"Edward, this is my wife, Bella." Jake said jovially.

"Nice to meet you." I managed to spit out. "I'm going to go and get out of y'all's way."

I walked quickly back into the house and picked up the phone to call Alice. She picked up on the first ring.

"Alice." I said hoarsely.

"Bella? What's wrong?" she asked sounding concerned.

"You will never guess who is at my house."

"Who?"

"Edward Cullen."

She didn't say anything.

"Alice?"

"What the hell is he doing there?" she yelled.

"Jake hired him to help out."

"No fucking way."

"There's a fucking way, especially considering he is going to be living in my barn." I ran my hand through my hair.

"I can't believe that Jake would hire him considering your history."

"About that.." I started.

"He doesn't know?" she asked sounding angry. "You were engaged to another man and he doesn't know?"

"I didn't think that it was important."

"Bella." she scolded.

"I know." I sighed.

"You have to tell him."

"I can't."

"You have to." I heard the back door open.

"Gotta go."

"Bel.." I heard her start before I hung up.

"Everything okay?" Jake asked.

"Everything's just fine." I said smiling despite myself.

"Edward is going to be eating dinner with us tonight, if that's all right." Jake said getting a glass of water.

"Peachy." I mumbled.

"What?"

"Nothing, it's fine." I said smiling. He kissed me on the forehead before heading back out.

I sighed and leaned against the counter. I was coming face to face with a man that I swore I would never see again. I guess when they say your past comes back to haunt you is true. I still couldn't believe that Edward fucking Cullen was living at house. How did my life get this screwed up? I knew that I was going to have to tell Jake, I just didn't have to tell him now.

&7&

I was shaking the whole time that I was making dinner that night. I was trying to breath, but it felt like my lungs weren't working. I couldn't let myself think about having to talk to him that was going to send me over the edge into panic mode.

I was just pulling the meatloaf out of the oven when I heard male voices just outside the door. I kept my back to them when I heard them come in. I jumped when I felt Jake's arm wrap around my shoulders.

"What's for dinner?" he asked.

"Meatloaf." I replied.

"Sounds good. I'll set the table."

I set the food on the table and took a seat.

"Why are you standing over there?" Jake asked. I turned to see Edward still standing by the door. "Come, sit. We don't bite. Well, I don't bite. Bella on the other hand."

"Ha ha." I stuck my tongue out at him.

Edward to the seat across from me. Dinner was a quiet occasion. I picked at my food as I listened to the conversation between Jake and Edward. I had eaten all of two bits since sitting down, I just didn't have an appetite. Every once in a while Jake would give me a questioning look and I would just nod my head, telling him that I was fine.

I cleared that table after dinner and washed the dishes just for lack of anything better to do.

"Is everything okay?" Jake asked, taking the plate from me and drying it off.

"Everything is fine. I'm just tired, I guess."

"You guess?"

"I'm fine, Jake." I handed him the last dish for him to dry off. "I'm going to go put Misty back in her stall."

"Okay."

I kissed him before heading out the door. I went the pasture and led Misty back to her stall. I gave her some water before closing the door.

"Nice horse."

"Oh, God!" my hand went to my chest and turned. Edward was leaning against the railing. "You scared me."

"He doesn't know." he said simply.

"Who doesn't know what?" I crossed my arms over my chest.

"I think you know."

"What Jake doesn't know won't hurt him."

"Is there a reason you didn't tell him?" he asked coming closer to me.

"You're just as arrogant as ever." I commented.

"He doesn't seem like the type of guy that you would go for."

"That just goes to show how much you know me." I walked toward the door.

"If I remember correctly," I stopped. "you said that you always had a thing for bad boys."

I looked at him with a shocked expression on my face.

"Yeah, I remember a lot of things."

"People change."

He shook his head. "I know you better than that."

"That was six years ago, Edward. And I think that you're forgetting who broke up with who."

He just stood there.

"Don't have a comment for that one do you? Goodbye, Edward."

I found Jake on the couch when I walked back into the house. I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around him and kissed his cheek.

"What took you so long?" he looked up at me.

"I just had something that I had to take care of. Let's go to bed."

"Hey," he grabbed my hand.

"Yeah?"

"I kind of told Edward that you would show him around town." he gave me a guilty smile.

"When did you do this?" my brow furrowed trying to remember the conversation from dinner.

"While you were doing the dishes. I should have asked..." I cut him off.

"Its fine. I don't mind."

"Are you sure? By the way you acted tonight I didn't think that you would.

"I'm sure. Don't worry about it." I smiled. "I'm going to go get some water. I'll meet you upstairs."

I watched him walk up the stairs. I guess avoiding Edward wasn't an option, I should have guessed that karma would kick my ass. I couldn't fathom having to spend a whole day with him; this was going to be a difficult experience.

I walked into the kitchen and got a glass of water figuring that it would look weird if I were to appear upstairs without it.

Jake was already asleep by the time I got upstairs. I crawled in bed beside him. I looked up at the ceiling trying to figure out what I could have done to make to universe turn against me.


	2. To Think I Loved You

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything.**

**I want to thank everyone who reviewed, favorite, and alerted this story. It means a lot and it makes me write faster. I hope you enjoy this chapter and I should be updated again in the next few days. I am trying to keep myself on a schedule so that the updates keep coming. Enjoy. :)**

2. To Think I Loved You

I wanted to throw my alarm out the window when it went off. I had stayed up for most of the night not able to sleep. I was dreading having to spend the day with Edward. I had no idea what I was supposed to show him in town, it wasn't like it a major city, we only had about three streets that composed the town. I guess it wasn't so bad, I needed to go to the store anyway, I was just going to have company. Whether I liked it or not I was going to have to be friendly, if nothing else I had to do it for Jake's sake. I didn't want him to think that anything was iffy between Edward and I.

I got up and did my morning routine before going downstairs and making coffee. I didn't see Jake's car in the driveway and figured that he had gone in early because he had kept the store closed yesterday.

As I was pouring my coffee there was a knock at the door.

"You don't have to knock, you live here now." I told Edward when I answered the door. "Do you want coffee?"

Edward cautiously walked into the kitchen. "No, I'm fine."

"You don't want coffee?" I was shocked. I had never known him not to want caffeine.

"What's with the friendliness?" he asked taking a seat at the kitchen table.

"I figured we're going to have to see each other everyday, we might as well be friendly."

"So, act?" he raised his brow at me as I took a seat across from him.

"Exactly." I brought my cup to my lips.

"So, where are you taking me today?" he asked curiously.

"Don't get too excited I have to go to the grocery store and if you don't piss me off, I might take you to some other places."

"When have I ever pissed you off?"

"Right now."

"Ha ha." he rolled his eyes.

"Just so you know, I am driving." I looked him straight in the eye. The last thing that I wanted to have happen today was for us to get a speeding ticket.

&7&

Less than an hour later we were in my car on the way to the store. I had turned on the radio so that it wasn't so quiet. The atmosphere was awkward between the two of us, every once in a while out of the corner of my eye I would see him looking at me. I was trying to ignore it, but it was getting harder.

I parked the car in the parking lot and got out of the car, him following closely behind me. I grabbed a cart and started toward the produce section.

"Bella?" I heard a voice that made my skin crawl.

"Hey, Jessica." I tried to sound friendly.

"Who's this?" she looked behind me at Edward.

"Edward. Jake hired him to help out with things on the ranch." I gave a quick glance at him. He looked uncomfortable. I understood why when I looked back at Jessica who was giving him a once over. "How's Mike, your husband?" I emphasized the husband part.

She snapped her eyes back to me. "He's fine. He's out of town on business." her eyes wandered back to Edward, "I get lonely when he's gone."

All right, this was making me want to barf. "Well, I promised to show Edward around so we better get going."

"Okay, I'll see you around." she smiled at Edward. "Goodbye, Edward."

"There is something wrong with that woman." Edward commented, shuttering.

"You're not the only one that thinks that."

I made the trip at that store quick and not letting me get distracted by the clearance section. I made sure to get only what we really needed. Luckily we didn't run into Jessica again. She was always trying to pick men up, it made me cringe when I saw her.

"Where to now?" Edward asked when we got back in the car.

"Bookstore, I haven't been there in forever."

"I should've guessed." he shook his head.

I pulled into the parking lot of the only used bookstore in town. I used to come here all the time, but I hadn't been here in months, I always seemed to have something that needed to be done. I hadn't really been in town except for going to the grocery store when we really needed something. I hadn't realized how closed off I had become and I didn't like it.

"Bella!" Peter called when we walked through the door.

"Hi, Peter." I smiled when he came over and hugged me.

"You must be Edward." Peter shook Edward's hand. "I ran into Jacob earlier and he told me that you guys finally got some help. It was about time."

"Yeah, well, I am going to look around."

I made my way to the back of the store where the meager Shakespeare section was. I was on the hunt for a new copy of _Romeo and Juliet. _I had missed placed mine years ago and I needed a new copy, well maybe needed wasn't the right word. I was one of those people that liked to reread books over and over.

I had finally found what I was looking for when someone cleared their throat. I jumped and looked find Edward standing there with his arms crossed.

"What?"

"So much for showing me around. Do you know how much that man can talk?"

"Sorry." I cradling the book to my chest. "How did you know where to find me?"

"The sign. I knew that would be in the classics section." he pointed to the sign above my head.

"Right." Now I just felt stupid. We just stood there awkwardly for a few minutes.

"_Romeo and Juliet_?" he asked.

"I lost my copy." I looked down at my feet.

"It seems fitting that you would lose something that I gave you." he looked almost.. hurt?

"I lost it in the move," I was looking everywhere but him. "it wasn't on purpose."

He looked down before looking back at me, "It wouldn't matter."

"Why are you getting upset?" I inquired.

"I'm not." he snapped.

"Whatever." I watched him walk away from me.

Well, the not so bad day just went down the tubes all because I had to pick up a stupid book. Wait, why was I feeling guilty over something that shouldn't matter? He was the one that was still holding on, right?

I looked for Edward, but I couldn't find him and Peter told me that he saw him leave the store. I paid for the book and went out to the car. Edward was already in the passenger seat and got in and started home.

The car ride was quiet and the radio wasn't helping the awkwardness this time. It was almost like we were seeping it.

The ride seemed like it took forever when, in reality, it had only been ten minutes. I sighed in relief when I finally pulled into the driveway. Before I had even turned off the car Edward was out and heading back to the barn.

I took the groceries inside and put them away. I went into the living room and sat on the couch. I didn't even bother turning on the TV. I sighed and finally gave up. I stood up and went out to the barn.

When I walked up to Misty's stall she seemed restless. I opened the door to her stall and walked over to her.

"What's wrong girl?" I asked rubbing her head. It was almost like she could since that something was wrong.

I heard stomping from upstairs and for some reason it made my anger flare. I walked upstairs and knocked on Edward's door. He threw it open and glared at me.

"Would you stop with the loud noises? You're scaring Misty." I spat.

"Did anything we have matter?" he asked when I turned away.

"You don't get to ask me that." I whipped back around. "You broke up with me. You hurt me. And the thing," I felt the tears coming. "that hurt the most was that you never told me why." my voice cracked on the last word.

"Bella," he said softly coming toward me.

"No!" I stepped back from him. "Its too late. I'm happily married and I really don't care anymore."

I walked back downstairs and to the house.

&7&

"How was your day?" Jake asked when we sat down to dinner.

"It was fine."

"What's wrong?" he lifted my chin to look at him.

"You've been asking me that a lot lately."

"You've been looking upset a lot lately." his thumb was rubbing against my cheek.

"As long as I have you, I'm perfect."

He brought his lips to mine and our dinner was forgotten.

&7&

I was cradled against Jake's bare chest. Even though it was two in the morning I couldn't sleep. I pulled myself away from him carefully and grabbed his shirt from the floor and slipped it on before making my way downstairs.

I almost had a heart attack when I saw someone sitting at my kitchen table in the dark.

"You scared me."

"Sorry. Couldn't sleep." he was looking at the glass of milk in front of him.

"That's something that we have in common." I went over to the fridge and got the milk before grabbing the glass and sitting at the table.

"Bella?"

"Yeah?" I looked at him.

"I'm sorry about this afternoon..." I cut him off.

"You sound be."

"I had no right to say that to you."

"You're damn right."

"You're making apologizing very difficult." he ran his hand through his hair.

"I never said that I was going to make things easy."

He was quiet.

"I'm going back to bed," I grabbed my glass. "See you in the morning."

"'Night, Bella."

"'Night, Edward." I gave him a small smile.

Once back in the bedroom I snuggled back into Jake's side. It was starting to scare me that was actually caring what Edward said to me.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I know that this chapter was shorter than the first, it just seemed like the right place to stop it. Also, I am not ready to lemons in the story yet, but trust me they will be coming later, I promise. I have a lot of plans for the next chapter so it should be longer. The third chapter should be up as soon as I have it done which hopefully will be in the next few days. Keep your fingers crossed.**


	3. We Have a Problem

**A/N: I am so sorry that I have been neglecting these stories, but I will be posted more frequently now. I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

3. We Have a Problem

Dear Lord why did the man have to take his shirt off? Couldn't I write it into his contract that he had to keep his shirt on? It was a hundred degrees and I was out exercising Misty while Edward was fixing the fence. He'd taken his shirt off, and I couldn't help myself. I just stared at him. His chest was glistening with sweat and there was nothing about him that was undesirable. Even Jake wasn't as ripped as he was. I was fucked. I was a married woman looking at another man. I was going to hell for this.

He hadn't been here two weeks, yet I found myself being drawn to him again. Yes, he pissed me off most of the time, but he had this draw on me that I didn't like. I loved my husband, he didn't deserve this. But I would be lying if I said that our sex life hadn't increased because I was trying to chase Edward from my mind. Nothing worked, he was still there. If I was telling the truth, I had never gotten over him. We'd broken up when I'd gotten an offer to study in Spain. I was still in love with him when I met Jake. He was like a tattoo on my heart that I couldn't get rid of.

I still hadn't told Jake our history. It would destroy him. As far as he knew, he was the only man that I had ever loved. I was such a bitch doing this to him. He was he best husband I could ever ask for, but there was a part of me that wondered what it would've been like if Edward and I had gotten married. Would we have made it? Our relationship so much different than the one that I had with Jake, it was like night and day, I was different with both of them.

I met Edward in English freshmen year of high school, I had never seen him before, which didn't make any sense coming from a small town where everyone knew each other, but I had heard of him. He came in wearing that damn leather jacket that I still think would make me weak in the knees, and sat right next to me. I still remember the way he smelled; slightly sweet and spicy.

We were friends for a long time. I watched him be with other girls like Tanya, Lauren, and Kate. I was friend zoned and that's where I thought that I was doomed to stay. Until the day he broke up with Kate. She was the type of girl that you would think that he would go for. She viewed me as competition. I guess that she saw something that I didn't. He came over to my house that night and told me. My heart skipped a beat when he kissed. Our relationship was sold. We would yell, scream, and drive each other crazy. I had all my firsts with him. My love for him consumed me.

Jake on the other hand, was sweet and treated me like I walked on water. We met when I was in Spain. I had dated a few other guys briefly before him. Our relationship didn't evoke all the things in me that my relationship with Edward had. We didn't have the passion that I'd had with him.

The night he told me he loved me I said even though I knew that I didn't mean. Although, I did grow to love him very much, I still shouldn't have said it when I did.

My parents loved him immediately. My father was the hardest one to please and he won him over in one night. That was the night that I knew that I loved him, but was I in love? The last few weeks had me questioning things that before I knew to be complete truth. Why did I let Edward, the man that had broken me, have this effect on me?

I put Misty back in her stall, maybe getting out of the heat would help.

The house quiet. Jake was at the store, so I had the house to myself for a few more hours. I sat on the couch and stared at the wall, just trying to breath.

I was letting my life get screwed up and it stopped here. I loved Jake. I wanted to start a family with him, at least I thought that I did. Stop that! Stop questioning your life just because he's back.

"Bella!" Alice's angry voice reverberated off of the walls. I looked at her, her expression telling me that she was pissed. "I've been calling you for days and you haven't gotten back to me." she stood with her arms crossed over her chest. "And when I called Jessica and she told me that she hadn't heard from you either I got worried."

"I'm sorry, Alice. I've just had a lot of things on my mind." I explained, hoping to appease her. It just seemed to make her even angrier.

"I think I know exactly what's been on your mind and he happens to be mending your fence." she took a seat next to me. "Bella, what are you doing?"

"What do you mean?"

"I can see it all over your face. Your letting yourself fall in love with him again. You have a husband that loves you that would die if he found out."

"I know!" I stood angrily from the couch. "Don't you think I know that! It's killing me that I'm letting my guard down. I hate that I'm doing to him, but I don't know how to stop it. I'm not doing it on purpose."

"Listen to me, Bella." she stood in front of me. "Jake is your husband who last I checked you were very much in love with. Is this still true?"

"Yes," I replied quietly. "Yes, I still love him."

"Good," she nodded. "You have to make a choice. Either let that man," she pointed toward the backyard, "destroy your marriage. Or focus everything you have in you to your marriage with Jake." she was quiet for a second, a look of sadness crossing her face. "I just don't want to see you get hurt again."

"I don't either." she hugged me then, giving me her support.

&7&

Jake was home on time tonight. I had his favorite meal, chicken parmigiana, on the table when he got home. I'd lit candles, put a table cloth on, poured wine, and had the lights turned down.

"What's with this?" he asked when he came in.

"I just wanted to show my husband how much I love him," I brought him into a heated kiss. "We should eat before it gets cold. We'll continue this after dinner. It would be a shame for it to go to waste."

After we finished dinner, Jake carried me to our room and made love to me slowly.

&7&

The next morning, after seeing Jake off, I went to the barn to put Misty in the pasture like I do every morning. Edward was there, putting hay in the stalls, dirt already covering him, like he had been at it for several hours.

"Hi," I said stopped a few feet away. "How long have you been at it?"

"Before dawn." he answered simply.

"You don't have to do that. We're not up before dawn, so we don't expect you to be."

He looked at me then, his green meeting my brown, "I'll keep that in mind."

I swallowed heavily, the way he was looking at me sent chills down my spine, "Well, I have to put Misty out."

"See you later, Bella."

I turned to go to her stall, but paused, there was something that I needed him to answer.

"Edward," I turned back to him. "Why did you break thing off?" walked closer to him, his back to me, tensed. "We were going to finish college and married. What happened?"

He faced me once again, "When you got that offer to go to Spain, I knew that I was going to hold you back. I didn't want you to not go because of me."

"Why would you think that?"

"You have gone?" he countered.

"No," I answered honestly, "I wouldn't have." we stared at each other for a few moments, the electricity palpable. "I have to... Misty." I stuttered, breaking the connection.

"Right," he shook his head like he was removing fog from it. "See you around, Bella."

I went and let Misty out to pasture. I stood there for a few moments against the fence, getting myself together before I went back into the house.

That night when Jake wanted to take things further, I told him I was tired even though I wasn't. I was thinking about Edward. I really was fucked.


	4. The Truth Comes Out

**A/N: Here is the fourth chapter. I hope you enjoy. I am trying to update every two to three days, but for some reason I can't, a chapter will be up on Sunday's because I am guaranteed a day off.**

4. The Truth Comes Out

"I really don't want to go out, Alice." I groaned. We were sitting in my kitchen the morning after my encounter with Edward in the barn. I hadn't told her about because I knew what she was going to say.

"Jessica and I both think that you need to get out." she insisted.

"Jessica just wants to get into the pants of someone other than her husband."

"Whatever," Alice took a sip of her coffee. "You've been all weird since Edward got here. You just need to get away for a while. Tyler is doing karaoke tonight."

"Do you really see me doing karaoke?" I blanched.

"It was Jessica's idea." she brushed it off.

"Fine, I'll go." I was defeated. There was no way that I was getting her out of here without me saying yes.

"Great. We'll pick you up at eight tonight." Alice bounced out of her seat and was out of my door in a flash. Her coffee barely touched, not that she really needed the caffeine anyway.

They were right, I needed a night out way from home. At home, things were getting complicated without my permission. I was feeling things and questioning things and I didn't like and a night like this was exactly what I needed.

"Alice gone already?" Jake asked, coming in with greasy hands. He was fixing the tractor because it just decided one day last week to stop working.

"Yeah, I'm going out with her and Jessica tonight." I took a sip from my cup.

"That would be good for you. You're in the house way too much." he cleaned his hand with a rag that kept when was working around the ranch.

"I guess you're on your own for dinner tonight."

"I can manage. I did survive before I had you to cook for me." he smiled, coming over and giving me a kiss. "Have fun tonight."

"I will." I stood. "I should go let Misty out."

It was the beginning of May and already felt like we were in the dead of summer. The heat was climbing higher and higher lately. It was up over hundred the last couple of days, usually it didn't do that until mid-summer.

I walked over to Misty's stall and stroked her stroked her, "Hey, girl. How are you this morning?"

"Hi, Bella." Edward's voice startled me.

I jumped, "Hi, Edward."

"I thought you would have been out here sooner." he was holding a bail of hay.

"I usually am, but Alice came over this morning."

"I see," looked down.

"Well, I'll get out of your way. I'm going to take her for a ride." I gestured to Misty.

"Have fun." he walked away, his jeans hung low on his hips, catching my eye. He always had a perfect ass.

I shook my head. A ride was exactly what I needed. I really needed to clear my head.

I grabbed her saddle, putting it on her quickly. I got on her easily and started her down our usual path.

The sun was hot and I immediately regretted not grabbing my hat. I was sure to be burnt by the time that I got back, but I didn't trust myself around Edward. Him being here was dangerous. It wasn't that I didn't trust that he would fight temptation, if he even felt any, but by our time in the barn yesterday, I was willing to bet he did, I didn't trust me.

I never thought that I would ever look at another man after I married Jake. He was the total package. We knew each other inside out, but looking back, maybe I didn't let him get to know me like I got to know him. He didn't even know that I had been engaged previously.

I needed to get my life back on track, starting now.

&7&

"You look hot tonight, Bella." Jessica commented as we walked into Tyler's. Country music was blasting as soon as we opened the door. He always had a thing for country.

"Thank you." I wore tight jeans and shirt that showed just enough of my stomach to be enticing, but not trashy. Jake almost didn't let me leave the house, claiming he wanted me in the bedroom all night. I took that as a compliment.

"She's ri..." Alice stopped talking with a shocked expression on her face. I followed her gaze, and there, leaning against a table with a redhead, was Edward.

"I need a drink!" I rushed to the bar, quickly ordering a beer. I didn't even like beer.

"Are you okay?" Alice whispered in my ear so Jessica wouldn't hear. Although, she was hitting on Tyler, so I don't think that she would be hearing anything.

"I'm fine. We're going to have fun." I wasn't even convincing myself.

"I think that you should stop." Alice said several beers later. We had been here for two hours and I had practically drank my weight in alcohol.

"I'll tell you when I'm ready to stop." I slurred. "I came here to get away from him."

"Away from who?" Jessica picked that moment to become alert again.

"None of your damn business!" I snapped. "I have to pee." I stood, shakily making my way across the bar. Successfully running into someone and loosing my footing.

"Bella?" it was his voice. Great.

"Why are you following me?" I slurred again.

"I'm not. I didn't even know you would be here. Are you drunk."

"I'm trying to drink my love for you away." it came before I even realized what I said. "Oh God." I pulled away from him.

"Bella," he tried to grab my arm but I pulled it away.

"We have to go." I gathered my stuff as I reached the bar.

"What's wrong?" Alice asked.

"I just told Edward that I still love him. So we have to go."

"You did what?" her voice reached a pitch that I didn't even know she had.

"I have no filter when I'm drunk. You of all people should know that." my voice was becoming panicked. "I just need to get out of here!"

"Okay, you stay here. I'll get Jessica."

Alice disappeared and not a moment she was back with a very disheveled Jessica. We left the bar quickly, although, not quickly enough, because I could Edward staring at me with an unreadable expression.

&7&

I got some Tylenol from the cabinet above the sink in the kitchen the next morning. The sun hurting my eyes. I took the hangover as punishment for not just telling another man that I loved him, but for being in love with him more than I was my husband.

"Have fun last night?" Jake's arms came around me, making me feel instantly guilty.

"A little too much fun," I took the pills, "I have a nasty hangover."

"Stay in today. Rest up." I nodded.

He walked out of the kitchen, leaving me standing there. My world was crumbling around me and I felt helpless to stop it.


	5. Breakdown

**A/N: I hope you all enjoy this chapter. I love reading the reviews that you leave on my stories. It makes me feel connected to all you as crazy as that might sound. Married Life will updated again on April 5. I have two different directions that I want to take it so I am going to write out some chapters of both and which ever I like better, that will be the one that I go forward with. **

5. Breakdown

"I'm just going to be gone for a couple of days," I watched as Jacob packed a bag. He was going to a conference, deciding to go at the very last minute.

"I'll miss you." I would miss him being around, because, quite frankly, I was afraid to be here alone with Edward. I had successfully avoided for the past week following the instance at the bar that night. When I put Misty out, I always made sure it was a time that he was doing something else, like cutting the grass.

"I love you." he kissed me on the forehead.

"Have a safe trip." I watched him walk down the stairs. I continued to lean against the doorway after he left. Nothing was going to happen if I didn't let it.

I made the executive decision to spend the day away from the house, Misty was already out when I came out of the house so I went straight to my car. I went into town, the refrigerator was bare anyway, signaling we needed food.

For a Saturday, the parking lot wasn't busy, allowing me to pack close to the entrance, that never happened. The sky was started to cloud up as I walked into the store, the first storm of the season definitely brewing.

Everything was quiet in the store as I grabbed the things that we needed until I heard voices yelling on another isle.

"Tyler told me Jessica! That's how I know!" Mike's angry voice sent a chill even down my spine.

"Mike," Jessica was sobbing, "I'm so sorry. I wanted to tell you, I just didn't know how."

"Well, I had to hear it from him."

"Where are you going?" I heard Jessica call.

"To get my stuff. I'm staying my parent's house!" Mike's distant voice was laced with venom as, I assume, he left the store, leaving a sobbing Jessica in his wake.

I turned the corner and saw her holding herself up against the freezer case. Her face was red, stained with tear tracks, her hand covering her mouth as her body shook. I abandoned my cart and walked over to her.

"What's wrong?" I put my hand on her shoulder, not knowing what else to do.

"I fucked Tyler is what's wrong." she used the back of her hands to wipe away her tears. "The night that we went to the bar, I slept with him."

"What?" I tried to remember her leaving, but the only thing that I could recall was her disheveled appearance when Alice dragged out of the building.

"Yeah," she looked at me with bloodshot eyes. "God, I am so stupid. I didn't think. I've been unhappy for so long. Mike has been traveling more than ever for work and Tyler was there. I should have just left Mike. It would have saved him so much pain."

"Is there anything that I can do?"

"No, I'm just going to go see my mom."

"Call me if you need anything."

"Why are you being so nice to me? You're happily married. You'd never cheat on Jake."

Oh if she only knew how close I was. I wasn't as in love with Jake as I thought I was.

"No one's life is perfect." I gave her a small smile.

That's when the thunder started.

&7&

By the time I checked out it was a down pour, water already accumulating in the parking lot. I put the few bags that I had in the back of my car as quickly as I could. I needed to get home and get Misty up, the thunder scared her.

I parked my car, not bothering to get my bags, nothing was cold so I could get them later. I walked over to the fence, opening it and walking over to Misty as a crack of thunder sounded causing her panic, backing into the fence.

"Hey, girl." I stroked neck, "It's okay." I grabbed a hold of her and lead her back into the barn. She went into her stall easily, watching me as I latched it.

More thunder rolled through, lightning brightening the sky, causing me to jump. My eyes went to the back door of the barn. Edward stood in the doorway soaked with rain, his shirt clinging to his toned chest and abs, making my body feel things that my mind was trying to fight.

"You've been avoiding me." it wasn't a question.

"Sorry?" it came out as a question.

"Does it have anything to with what happened at the bar?" he walked closer to me, standing within a foot of me.

"It has everything to with what happened," I laughed, no humor in it. "I told a man that wasn't my husband that I was having to drink my love for him away. What did you think was going to happen? Do you think that I want to love you?" I turned intent on leaving, only to have him grab my arm, turning me to face him once again.

"Do you think that I want to be in love with someone else's wife?" his eyes bore into mine, anger in them, "It's not easy for me, Bella. I thought that I was over you," he shook his head, "and then I saw the morning I moved in. I didn't even know you his wife. I never thought in a million years that you were the Bella that he talked about. I still love you, Bella. I am just as screwed as you are."

We stood, staring at each other, chests heaving. The electricity palpable like the lightning outside. When the thunder roared again, his lips were on mine. His lips were as soft as I remembered.

Our lips worked furiously together as I kissed him back. My hands went to his hair, gripping it, holding his face to mine. I didn't realize we were walking backwards until my back hit the wall. He gripped my thighs, picking me up, wrapping my legs around his waist.

I moved my lips his neck, his hands moving to massage my breasts through my shirt and bra. He took my lips back with his. My breath was shallow as our tongues met, battling for dominance. My hands on their own volition went to his pants, working on the button and zipper. All thoughts of resisting left my head as soon as his lips were on mine. He followed my lead and worked my pants down far enough that he could enter me.

We moaned into each others mouths when we were finally connected, moving desperately in unison. I gripped the wall as the pleasure started to build. Sex with Jake was never this desperate. He always treated me like a porcelain doll, he'd been afraid that he'd hurt me.

No works were spoken between us, the only form of communication were our moans. When it all became too much, I bit my sleeve to contain the sounds of my cries as I came around him. A few thrusts later he followed.

We stayed tangled in each other for a few minutes as we came down from our high, catching our breath. When he set me down, reality came crashing down on me. I had cheated on my husband.

"I need to get out of here," I resituated my clothing.

"Bella..." he started as he redid his pants.

"Please don't," I took several steps away from him. "Nothing you say is going to make this okay, Edward."

I walked out of the barn then. My feet carried me as fast as I could walk through the tears. I was a horrible person. I had promised myself that after what my mom did to my dad that I was never going to cheat. That went right the window far too quickly for comfort. I didn't know how I was going to deal with my guilt. I couldn't imagine facing Jake after what I had done. Why did I let myself do that?

I slid down the door after I closed it, my body hitting the floor with a soft thud. I didn't care that I was still in my soaked clothing, I stayed there for what felt like hours before I went to shower, trying feebly to get rid of my guilt.


End file.
